The Ballad of Monster the Cat (Or, I am a Dirty Liar)

A couple of months ago I posted the following to Facebook, without preamble:

Please advise: This really ugly stray cat has shown up at my house. It’s kind of deformed. But really, really friendly. I named it Monster because it’s so ugly it’s kind of cute.

Do I take in the new cat?

I then helpfully added a photo to show off the ugliness of said cat.


My friends’ reactions ranged from amused, confused, and a few well-meaning people who told me that possums are not cats and I should not let it into my house. But I went on, talking about how my indoor cats weren’t necessarily taking to the outdoor cat, attempting to fight my newest pet through my sliding glass doors.

Then Monster disappeared, and I was sad that I hadn’t seen him for a few days. My mom, in particular, gave the completely unhelpful tip that she’d seen Monster dead on the side of the road. So callous, I tell you.

But then there was a real Monster sighting, as I spotted him as I was driving (very much alive) and I recognized his ugly mug instantly! I was, relieved, of course, that my new cat was alive and kicking.

Then the news got even better, as Monster showed up in my yard and it was revealed that not only was Monster not a he, but a she, but she also had kittens!


I offered them free to a good home, once they were old enough, and even provided a photo from a coworker of a newly adopted kitten crawling up her husband’s arm. It was glorious.

Meanwhile, my mom was trying to figure out if one of my coworker’s had really come by my place to secure a “kitten” of her own, and wondering just what I was up to.

All was revealed on Mother’s Day, when I gifted my mother a beautiful, homemade card.


Because yes, I convinced my mom that there was a possum and her babies living in my backyard, just to play the not-so-long con myself, as retribution.

After all, why not?

So! If you were following this saga on Facebook, and wondering what in the world ever happened to Monster… sorry? I meant to write about this sooner.

Also, you’re all amazing for just going along with my unexplained weirdness. I love you.

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